The Quote Thread

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

Because this was so popular on the old site. :3
This is where you can post quotes from life, from songs, books, whatever!

The only rule is that it contains swearing, use *** or whatever instead of the word. :3

Now POST. >:U

[Shard Prime]

I suppose I'll start. :3

"Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."

~Bruce Lee

"Besides being a guitar player, I'm a big fan of the guitar. I love that damn instrument."

-Steve Vai

Two of my biggest role models. ^^

[Cormac Fray]

"Sometimes you win when you lose. Like when you play musical electric chairs." - Steven Wright

[Shard Prime]

Hah! Nice, Cormac. :B

"SHORRRYUKEN!!"

~Ryu (and Ken)


Also "HADOUKEN!!"

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

Me: Seriously, Myah. Stop coming in my house and waking up the dog...!
Dakota: ... O.o Whitney, hey, wake up.
Me: Myah, get out of my house and leave the dog alone! D<
Dakota: *smack* Wake up! Myah's not here, shut up! D<
Me: ... What? D: Why did you wake me...?
Dakota: ... You were screaming and yelling that Myah woke the dog up. nobody bu us and the dog are here.
Me: ... O.o That wasn't a dream? D:
Dakota: ... No. You're awake. Now go shut the dog up.
Me: *rolls over and closes eyes* Make Myah do it.

My friend Dakota was staying at my house. I edited out my cussing and just screaming. I have no idea why I thought some chick called Myah we know was in the house waking my dog up and making it bark. :/

[aeroflyte]

Life isn't fair. And anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
-Wesley, The Princess Bride

[Cormac Fray]

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." - Steven Wright

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." - Steven Wright

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?" - Steven Wright

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." - Steven Wright

"I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape
of a house." - Steven Wright

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

Katie: So what kinda of character did you roll?
Me: ... Uh.
Katie: Seriously. Can't be worse than me or Jake's.
Jake: D; *mumbles about his character being a girl*
Me: I'm afraid you guys will kill me. D:
Katie: What? Just read your character sheet. D;
Me: ... I've got golden hair and wear an orange dress, and have metallic gray eyes. My weapon's a chainsaw...
Jake and Katie: *already dumbstruck*
Me: ... I've got a 5 in strength, I'm a boyish heroine... Overly stressed and I pray...
Katie: What are your qualities?
Me: ... Uh. I'm albino... I have raven wings coming out of my back and can turn fully into a raven... And, uh, I can do necromancy.
Jake: ...!! D< I get creepy things pertaining to my character being a tease, and you get to summon and control the dead?!
Me: ... Looks like.

Katie: D: *gets knocked unconcious in-game* Heeeelp.
Me: ... D: *rolls and successfully has character turn into raven to avoid getting shot*
Katie: Don't you WANT to help me?! D:
Me: *speaks in weird, croaky, pretty scary voice* Never more. :3
Katie: ... D< *Doesn't get the joke*
Me: ... D: Quoteth the raven, nevermore. D:
Katie: ... Oh. :/

~Me, Katie, and her brother Jake. Playing Maid. :3

And, uh, yeah. I play tabletop role-playing games. :3

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

Dpublepost, wut? D:

All these by Rorschach from Watchmen. (It's rated R for a reason, alright?)

"You see, Doctor, God didn't kill that little girl. Fate didn't butcher her and destiny didn't feed her to those dogs. If God saw what any of us did that night he didn't seem to mind. From then on I knew... God doesn't make the world this way. We do."

"The accumulation of their filth will foam up around their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up as shout, 'SAVE US.' and I'll look down and whisper,'no.'"

"I'm not locked in here with you... You're locked in here with me."

"I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. "

[Sandegar]

*faints*
OMG RORSCHACH!!!!

Soooo awesome.

Well, my addition to the pot:
"Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
- William Shakespeare

And from Wolverine: Origins:

Wolverine/Logan: "Why?" (on Sabretooth/Creed having killed his lover)
Sabretooth/Creed: "You never call, you never write. How else was I supposed to get your attention?"

Victor Creed: That's funny Wade, but I've think you've mistaken me with someone who gives a ****.

Wade Wilson: All I ever wanted was to travel to far off exotic places, meet new exciting people and then kill them.

And my favorite: "Ooh, shiny."

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

Er, and now the Dresden Files! :3
Bwahaha.
Cutting out the actions, though....

"Are you with anyone?"
"Just you."
"Not with them. With them."
"Oh.... Oh!"
"You, you know.... like women?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm totally down with the women."
"And I, coincidentally, happen to be a woman."
-from Dead Beat. Sheila and Dresden. :3

"Polka will never die!"
-also from Dead Beat. This would be Butters. Because Dresden advice is weird. D:

[Rawlt]

I know I can't drink alcoholic beverages, but this is funny.

"In beer there is freedom, in wine there is wisdom, in water there is bacteria." Benjamin Franklin.

"Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded." Yogi Berra.

[aeroflyte]

"I swear on my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."

"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
-Mal Reynolds

Mal: "If anyone gets nosy, just...you know... shoot 'em. "
Zoe: "Shoot 'em?"
Mal: "Politely."

Zoe: "Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something."
Wash: (alarmed) "Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!?" (deadpan) "Oh right, that would be me. Back to work."

Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
Wash: "That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all."
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."

All quotes from the prematurely canceled TV show Firefly.

[Seki]

Tall Person: Hey, look at this. It's the list of new food at the State Fair this year.
Principal: 'K..... Oh, eww. Who would /eat/ that?
Tall Person: I dunno... let's ask this random student.
Random Student: What do you wanna ask me?
Principal: Would you eat something called 'Deep fried butter'?
Random Student: Heck yeah!
Me: ....Who in their right mind would eat that? It's, like, pure fat!
John: I dunno....
Me: Hey, Zen, listen. Newest food at the state fair: Deep- Fried Butter.
Zen: No way.... we are so there!
Me:................
John: I think you just answered your question.
Me:...........
~ Me, some friends, some people I don't know, and the principal of my school talking about Deep Fried Butter. XP

[Rathnait Roseback]

Heehee, what a fun thread! ♥

Here are some of the examples of unthinking stupidity that inexplicably come out of my mouth:

Me: *on school computer with a piece of paper beside her*
Friend: What's this? *grabs piece of paper*
Me: Huh--what? Give that back! Now I have nothing at all--that's worse than having nothing at all!

Me: *having to watch Romeo and Juliet in English class*
Friend: Hey, was Shakespeare before or after Jesus?
Me: OMG, you don't know? Haha!
Friend: It's not my fault I was never taught it!
Me: Hah, stupid, it was after Jesus, because Jesus was born in 2000 BC!

Friend: *just got her braces off* Eww, my teeth feel all slimy and bare!
Me: What? Bear? Dude, your teeth would have to be like, three times their size to be bear teeth!

I am forever thankful that my friends choose to find the utter idiocy I am capable of as cute, rather than horrifyingly oblivious. And, here's one of my favourite quotes from a friend who is utterly spastic; she was trying to imitate those guys that add '-izzle' to everything.

Friend: Fo' shizzle my squizzle nizzle.

'But the plans were on display...'
'On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'
'That's the display department.'
'With a torch.'
'Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.'
'So had the stairs.'
'But, look, you found the notice, didn't you?'
'Yes, yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.'
~ Mr. Prosser and Arthur Dent from the book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

'If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and show now.' Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

And now, for some Mark Twain:

'Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.'

'Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.'

'I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.'

Okay, shutting up now.