Crystal's Guide To Creating A NonSue

[Crystal M. V. Rosepaw]

As always, I had to relate some silly part of my life to my tiny space of the online world. When my teacher said I had to write a twelve step guide, I, naturally, smiled wickedly to myself and decided to put this to use. And thus, Crystal's Guide To Creating A NonSue was born. Although these are good tips to follow, this was written in a mostly playful voice.

How To Create An Un-Sue Character
Trust me. This is so very needed to prevent facepalm's.


Have you ever written a story, only to have everyone you know call it an epic failure? Has your story's main character ever been called a 'Mary Sue' (a completely unrealistic character) or been compared to Bella from Twilight? If so, you're obviously doing it wrong. By following these simple steps, you shall create a character that is a good medium between Harry Potter (the Mary Sue) and the guy in your math class you don't know the name of (the Anti-Sue).

Step 1: Gather some fairly simple supplies, including: a pad of paper, a pencil, and a thesaurus. These are the Un-Sue's best friend.

Step 2: Decide on some fairly basic information for your character, including a name, gender, and race. On close observation, you should notice that names are a really hard thing to mess up. 'Harry Potter' doesn't sound like a Sue name, and nether does 'Bella Swan.' However, 'Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way' does. Gender, for the most part is straight forward, but I guess if your 'interesting-meter' is low you could spice it up a bit...

Step 3: Next, we hit up the character's appearance. This is the area where people mess up the most, kids, so listen up! Your goal is to create a character that isn't boring, but isn't a total freak. So let's say you're writing a typical teenager for the 2010-ish time, probably enrolled in public school. Okay, so that's well and good, but. You decide that it would be great for your character to be albino, have purple eyes, naturally have pink hair, and looks like the forgotten Greek goddess of perfume and clothing. No, dear, this isn't okay at all! Rewrite that to something typical, but still to your liking, such as maybe blue eyes and black hair. Make the pale skin for a good reason, and that alone might add some flair, such as a girl gamer (wait, those things exist?!).

Step 4: Right now, before I go a step further, make sure that you are not basing the character off a celebrity unless the point of writing is fan-fiction or you are not going to compare the real person and your character. Everyone is different, and unless your character is a celebrity his or her self, I doubt they are all that glamorous.

Step 5: Also, make sure that your character's appearance does not limit you to something that you are going to back out of. If your story's main character gets around only in a wheelchair, they cannot suddenly get out and run a mile, nor can they escape the villain by sprinting up a flight of stairs. This includes a typical bleach blonde and Areopostale wearing teen hanging out with the goth kids; seriously, people, what is the likelihood of this?

Step 6: Take a breather, kiddo, we're halfway done. I know you hate me for ripping your ideas apart, but we're putting a nail in Mary Sue's coffin, and this is tough love!

Step 7: Next up, we're tackling personalities, so hang on for the ride, this stop is about disorders. First and foremost, any use of cliche will get your ignored, so the point is to break them within believable bounds! This means, do not give your character bipolar disorder to excuse their rash behavior. 'Sailor Moon'-itis, as I like to call it, is also a bad idea, since anyone that eats that much sugar and junk should be at least chubby, right? Right, that's what I thought!

Step 8: If your character is one of those types that get upset easily, do you at least mention why? It's very rare for a person to jump out of bed and say 'I think I'm going to be pissed at everyone for no apparent reason.' A character that is upset easily because of relationship issues is completely different than one that is just permanently angry.

Step 9: For the love of literature, people, please don't make your character's life a sob story! Nobody wants to hear it, so just shut up and put up! ... That means you too, Mr. Potter.

Step 10: On step 9's note, write a history that seems right for the genre. And remember: the more you abuse your character, and the more they hate you when you are done, the closer you are to doing it right.


Step 11: If anything seems too hard to manage, write down some anti-sue qualities in categorizes and play your favorite childhood game: MASH. A little known fact is that this game is great for making a quick character without you doing much thinking.

Step 12: Take the Mary Sue Litmus test, at the website address: www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm
Because, really.
If you fail, you're doing it oh, so, so wrong.

So there you have it, my diligent pupils, a foolproof guide to staying away from becoming the next Tara Gillsebe or Stephenie Meyers. Keep all twelve steps in mind, and you should be on your way to some good writing. And remember: adjectives, adjectives, adjectives!